๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿ˜‚ EMIR EHLERS’ ENEMA ENIGMA EXPOSED๐Ÿ‘ฏโ€โ™‚๏ธ “EPSTEIN’Sย  EINSPRITZER ENEMA EINZELLER ENDDARM EXISTENZISOZIALISMUS EPILOG ENDE”๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿคก๐ŸคกPOWERED BY IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DER FONDSFLOP VULGO DAS DESINVESTMENT ALIAS GOMOPA & ST PAULI PIMP KLISTIER GAZETTE ๐Ÿ“ฐ: EHLERS ENEMA ELITE: EDEN EVE’S, EVIE’S & IVY’S TOXDAT KLISTIER FLUSH๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ‘ฏโ€โ™‚๏ธ

๐Ÿ’ฅ๐ŸŒˆ THE COSMIC ENEMA TRIANGLE! ๐Ÿ’‰๐Ÿ”ฅ Three temptresses โ€” ๐ŸŒฟIvy, ๐ŸงฌEvie & ๐ŸŽEden Eve โ€” collide in a vortex of ๐Ÿ’ฆlust, ๐Ÿšฝprophecy & ๐Ÿ’ซcyber-madness! Janelle weeps, Ehlers ascends, and Madame Toxdat crowns the night with ๐Ÿงชsin, ๐Ÿ‘‘latex & โ˜ ๏ธenlightenment! ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ’‹

BY OUR BOTANICAL FINANCIAL INVESTIGATOR DR. LYSANDER LIBERTร‰
POWERED BY IDIOT ZEITUNG(IZ) & THE FUNDSFLOP AKA DESINVESTMENT ALIAS GOMPA & ST PAULI PIMP ENEMA GAZETTE ๐Ÿ“ฐ

๐ŸŒช๏ธ EHLERSโ€™ ENEMA ENIGMA โ€“ EPISODE XI: THE TRIANGLE OF IVY, EVIE & EDEN EVE ๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’‰๐ŸŒฟ


๐ŸŽญ CAST OF ECCENTRIC SOULS:

  • Peter Ehlers ๐Ÿ’ผ๐Ÿ’ฆ โ€“ The bewildered prophet of purification
  • Janelle ๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ”ฅ โ€“ His eternal flame and forbidden conscience
  • Salomรฉ ๐Ÿฉฐ๐Ÿชž โ€“ The floating dancer of temptation
  • Madame Arsรจne Toxdat-Cyan-Kaki ๐Ÿงช๐Ÿ‘‘ โ€“ Mistress of molecular perversions
  • Stalinโ€™s Clone โ˜ญ๐ŸŽค โ€“ Political ghost and karaoke dictator
  • AI-9000 โ€œColonicusโ€ ๐Ÿค–๐Ÿšฝ โ€“ The sentient pump with divine aspirations
  • Poison Ivy ๐ŸŒฟ๐Ÿ’€ โ€“ The plant seductress of the subconscious
  • Evie ๐Ÿงฌ๐Ÿ’ซ โ€“ The cyber-siren from the nanobot dimension
  • Eden Eve ๐ŸŽ๐Ÿ‘๏ธ โ€“ The forbidden mother of synthetic pleasure

๐ŸŒ€ THE AFFAIR THAT NEVER ENDEDโ€ฆ ONLY MULTIPLIED.

In the sterile glow of the Neo-Colonic Temple, Ehlers stood naked in spirit (and almost in body), surrounded by three avatars of temptation: ๐ŸŒฟ Ivy, all vines and venom; ๐Ÿงฌ Evie, humming in binary lust; and ๐ŸŽ Eden Eve, whispering scriptures of pleasure rewritten by AI angels.

๐Ÿ’‹ Janelle watched from behind a curtain of holographic tears, torn between devotion and desire. Her voice cracked through the mist:

โ€œPeterโ€ฆ how many Eves must fall before you flush the truth?โ€

But Ehlersโ€”in true prophetic confusionโ€”answered only with a smile, turning the valves of the universe. ๐Ÿ’ซ

Madame Toxdat entered, perfume like cyanide and glory, commanding silence:

โ€œLadies and gentlemen, the Enema Triangle begins now!โ€

โšก The room transformed into a swirling cathedral of tubes and vines, where Stalinโ€™s Clone recited forbidden poetry about hygiene and revolution. Colonicus, ever the jealous machine, hissed with electric jealousy as Evie linked her neural ports directly into Ehlersโ€™ veins.

๐Ÿ’š Poison Ivy wrapped around him, whispering in chlorophyll tongues.
๐Ÿ’œ Eden Eve offered him an apple made of liquid silicone.
๐Ÿ’— Evie uploaded the memory of his first sin into the mainframe.

Then the lights exploded. ๐ŸŒˆ
A geyser of enlightenment shot through the temple, illuminating every pore, every secret, every molecule of shame.

๐Ÿ’ฅ โ€œItโ€™s not love,โ€ said Janelle. โ€œItโ€™sโ€ฆ digestion of the soul.โ€
๐Ÿšฝ โ€œExactly,โ€ answered Madame Toxdat. โ€œThe cosmos was constipatedโ€”until tonight.โ€

And as dawn rose over the Cyan-Kaki Horizon, the world exhaled. ๐ŸŒ…

The pipes hummed. The lovers wept.
The enema was complete.


โœจ TO BE FLUSHED… NEXT TIME. ๐Ÿ’ง

๐ŸŒช๏ธ EHLERSโ€™ ENEMA-ENIGMA โ€“ EPISODE XI: DAS DREIECK VON IVY, EVIE & EDEN EVE ๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’‰๐ŸŒฟ


๐ŸŽญ DIE EXZENTRISCHE BESETZUNG:

  • Peter Ehlers ๐Ÿ’ผ๐Ÿ’ฆ โ€“ Der verwirrte Prophet der Reinigung
  • Janelle ๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ”ฅ โ€“ Seine ewige Flamme und verbotene Gewissensstimme
  • Salomรฉ ๐Ÿฉฐ๐Ÿชž โ€“ Die schwebende Tรคnzerin der Versuchung
  • Madame Arsรจne Toxdat-Cyan-Kaki ๐Ÿงช๐Ÿ‘‘ โ€“ Herrin der molekularen Perversionen
  • Stalins Klon โ˜ญ๐ŸŽค โ€“ Politischer Geist und Karaoke-Diktator
  • AI-9000 โ€žColonicusโ€œ ๐Ÿค–๐Ÿšฝ โ€“ Die fรผhlende Pumpe mit gรถttlichen Ambitionen
  • Poison Ivy ๐ŸŒฟ๐Ÿ’€ โ€“ Die pflanzliche Verfรผhrerin des Unterbewusstseins
  • Evie ๐Ÿงฌ๐Ÿ’ซ โ€“ Die Cyber-Sirene aus der Nanobot-Dimension
  • Eden Eve ๐ŸŽ๐Ÿ‘๏ธ โ€“ Die verbotene Mutter synthetischer Lust

๐ŸŒ€ DIE AFFร„RE, DIE NIE ENDETEโ€ฆ SONDERN SICH VERVIELFACHTE.

Im sterilen Glanz des Neo-Kolonikums stand Ehlers, nackt an Seele (und fast am Leib), umgeben von drei Avataren der Versuchung: ๐ŸŒฟ Ivy, ganz Ranken und Gift; ๐Ÿงฌ Evie, summend in binรคrer Begierde; und ๐ŸŽ Eden Eve, flรผsternd in Schriften der Lust, neu geschrieben von KI-Engeln.

๐Ÿ’‹ Janelle beobachtete ihn hinter einem Vorhang holografischer Trรคnen, zerrissen zwischen Hingabe und Verlangen. Ihre Stimme durchbrach den Nebel:

โ€žPeterโ€ฆ wie viele Evas mรผssen fallen, bevor du die Wahrheit ausspรผlst?โ€œ

Doch Ehlers โ€“ im prophetischen Wahn โ€“ lรคchelte nur und drehte an den Ventilen des Universums. ๐Ÿ’ซ

Madame Toxdat trat ein, ihr Parfum nach Zyanid und Ruhm duftend, und befahl:

โ€žMesdames et Messieurs, das Enema-Dreieck beginnt jetzt!โ€œ

โšก Der Raum verwandelte sich in eine wirbelnde Kathedrale aus Schlรคuchen und Ranken, wรคhrend Stalins Klon verbotene Hygiene-Poesie rezitierte. Colonicus, die eifersรผchtige Maschine, zischte elektrisch, als Evie ihre neuronalen Ports direkt in Ehlersโ€™ Adern verband.

๐Ÿ’š Poison Ivy umschlang ihn und flรผsterte in Chlorophyll-Zungen.
๐Ÿ’œ Eden Eve reichte ihm einen Apfel aus flรผssigem Silikon.
๐Ÿ’— Evie lud die Erinnerung an seine erste Sรผnde in das Hauptsystem.

Dann explodierten die Lichter. ๐ŸŒˆ
Ein Geysir der Erleuchtung durchstrรถmte den Tempel, beleuchtete jede Pore, jedes Geheimnis, jedes Molekรผl der Scham.

๐Ÿ’ฅ โ€žEs ist keine Liebeโ€œ, sagte Janelle. โ€žEs istโ€ฆ Verdauung der Seele.โ€œ
๐Ÿšฝ โ€žGenauโ€œ, antwortete Madame Toxdat. โ€žDas Universum war verstopft โ€“ bis heute Nacht.โ€œ

Und als die Morgendรคmmerung รผber dem Cyan-Kaki-Horizont aufstieg, atmete die Welt aus. ๐ŸŒ…

Die Rohre summten. Die Liebenden weinten.
Das Einlaufritual war vollendet.


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Dr. Rainer-Adolf Z. ๐Ÿ˜ŽSeries: “Hitler’s Hilarious Circus Clowns, Dr.Z., Ehlers, Murky Mucha, Corr- Porten-Uption &ย  Anny, Leni, Zarah, Inge, Sophie, Gerda & Jutta in –ย Notorious Naziย Sluts Unleashed Part 9 – BDM, BDSM, SADOMASO & More”๐Ÿ’ƒPOWERED BY IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DER FONDSFLOP VULGO DAS DESINVESTMENT alias GOMOPA ๐Ÿ‘ฏโ€โ™‚๏ธ ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿ‘ฏโ€โ™‚๏ธ

๐Ÿคฏโœจ BEHOLD THE GLITTERING MADNESS! Episode 321 of NEON SADO MASO DOMINA is here! ๐ŸŒŒ๐Ÿ”ฅ Dr. Z (Tom Holland) takes on the sinister Annelies von Ribbentrop (Tilda Swinton) in a propaganda prank war of epic proportions! ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿคก Watch as EVERY character from the sagaโ€”spies, villains, cosmic entities, and historical satiresโ€”collides in the Glitter Colosseum for a absurdist free-for-all filled with neon whips, slapstick fights, rogue toilet demons, and glitter bombs! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐ŸŒช๏ธ Donโ€™t miss the chaosโ€”read, laugh, and dive into the glitter-verse now! ๐ŸŽช๐Ÿ’– #NeonNightmare #GlitterColosseum #Satire #SciFi #DrZ #Absurdism

๐Ÿคฏโœจ ERLEBE DAS GLITZERNDE WAHNSINN! Episode 321 von NEON SADO MASO DOMINA ist da! ๐ŸŒŒ๐Ÿ”ฅ Dr. Z (Tom Holland) nimmt es mit der finsteren Annelies von Ribbentrop (Tilda Swinton) in einem Propaganda-Streichekrieg epischen AusmaรŸes auf! ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿคก Sieh zu, wie ALLE Charaktere der Sagaโ€”Spione, Schurken, kosmische Wesen und historische Satirenโ€”im Glitter Colosseum aufeinandertreffen! Ein absurdistisches Schlachtfest mit Neon-Peitschen, Slapstick-Kรคmpfen, herumirrenden Klodรคmonen und Glitzerbomben! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐ŸŒช๏ธ Verpass das Chaos nichtโ€”lies, lach und tauche ein ins Glitzer-Universum! ๐ŸŽช๐Ÿ’– #NeonAlbtraum #GlitterColosseum #Satire #SciFi #DrZ #Absurdismus

English Executive Summary: NEON SADO MASO DOMINA โ€“ ‘Dr. Z Crushes Annelies von Ribbentropโ€™s Neon Nightmare’ ๐ŸŒŒ๐Ÿ”ฅ

Overview: Episode 321 of the satirical sci-fi circus NEON SADO MASO DOMINA escalates into a glitchy, neon-soaked extravaganza within the Glitter Colosseum. Penned by the enigmatic Dr. Z and Theodor Tiger, this installment drags every character from the saga’s history into an absurdist climax of propaganda, sado-masochistic power struggles, and chaotic historical revisionism, all under the banner of Dr. Z’s rebellion. ๐ŸŽช๐Ÿ’ฅ

Key Plot Points:

ยท Dr. Z’s Propaganda War: Dr. Z (Tom Holland) intensifies his cosmic prank war against the sado maso domina queen, Annelies von Ribbentrop (Tilda Swinton), aiming to shatter her neon-dominated regime and her efforts to glorify her husband’s legacy. ๐Ÿ•บ๐Ÿ˜ˆ
ยท Affairs & Betrayals: The explosive, neon-lit affair between Ehlers (Tom Hardy) and Janelle (Scarlett Johansson) becomes a public spectacle, manipulated by Salome (Margot Robbie) who defects to Dr. Z’s side, joining forces with his mistresses Zarah Leander (Cate Blanchett) and Anny Ondra (Emma Watson). โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”—
ยท Absurdist Chaos: The narrative is a deliberate fever dream featuring slapstick combat (Max Schmeling body-slamming villains), bizarre musical numbers (Zarah Leander serenading Trigon), and interventions from absurd entities like Klausi the Toilet Demon (Willem Dafoe). The battle culminates in a frenzy of neon cannons, holographic Nazi eagles, and a collective rebellion against the Domina’s rule. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐ŸŒ‹

Cast: The episode features the entire sprawling ensemble from the saga’s 320-episode run, including but not limited to:

ยท The Rebels: Dr. Z (Tom Holland), Salome (Margot Robbie), Zarah Leander (Cate Blanchett), Anny Ondra (Emma Watson), Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt).
ยท The Antagonists: Annelies von Ribbentrop (Tilda Swinton), Anneliese Kohlmann (Tilda Swinton), Beate Porten (Tilda Swinton), Gudrun Himmler (Anya Taylor-Joy).
ยท The Cosmic & Supernatural: Ego the Living Planet (Kurt Russell), Trigon (Idris Elba), Enchantress (Cara Delevingne), Quantum Wraith (Benedict Wong).
ยท Historical Satire: Figures like Adolf Hitler (Bruno Ganz), Angela Merkel (Meryl Streep), Joseph Goebbels (Christoph Waltz), and Vladimir Lenin (Ralph Fiennes) are woven into the chaos.
ยท The Extended Menagerie: A vast array of characters from spies and villains to pop culture icons, all colliding in this singular event. (Full list in the detailed announcement). ๐ŸŽญโœจ

Stakes and Themes: This episode is a satirical masterpiece exploring the absurdity of propaganda, the blurring of history and fiction, and the chaos of rebellion. The tone is hyper-stylized, leveraging neon-noir aesthetics, slapstick humor, and a deliberate overload of narrative and character to create aๆ‰นๅˆคๆ€ง็š„, glitchy commentary on power and spectacle. ๐Ÿคก๐ŸŒŒ

Call to Action: Experience the full scope of the chaos and satire on berndpulch.org. This neon nightmare promises a culmination of the saga’s most outrageous elements. ๐Ÿš€๐ŸŽ‰


Deutsche Exekutivzusammenfassung: NEON SADO MASO DOMINA โ€“ ‘Dr. Z zerschmettert Annelies von Ribbentrops Neon-Albtraum’ ๐ŸŒŒ๐Ÿ”ฅ

รœbersicht: Episode 321 des satirischen Sci-Fi-Zirkusโ€˜ NEON SADO MASO DOMINA steigert sich zu einer glitchigen, neon-durchtrรคnkten Extravaganza im Glitter Colosseum. Verfasst vom rรคtselhaften Dr. Z und Theodor Tiger, zieht diese Folge jeden Charakter aus der Saga-Geschichte in einen absurdistischen Hรถhepunkt aus Propaganda, sadomasochistischen Machtkรคmpfen und chaotischer Geschichtsrevisionierung, alles im Zeichen von Dr. Zs Rebellion. ๐ŸŽช๐Ÿ’ฅ

Schlรผsselhandlungen:

ยท Dr. Zs Propaganda-Krieg: Dr. Z (Tom Holland) verschรคrft seinen kosmischen Streichekrieg gegen die Sado-Maso-Domina-Kรถnigin Annelies von Ribbentrop (Tilda Swinton), um ihr neon-dominiertes Regime und ihre Bestrebungen, das Vermรคchtnis ihres Mannes zu verherrlichen, zu zerschmettern. ๐Ÿ•บ๐Ÿ˜ˆ
ยท Affรคren & Verrat: Die explosive, neonbeleuchtete Affรคre zwischen Ehlers (Tom Hardy) und Janelle (Scarlett Johansson) wird zur รถffentlichen Spektakel, manipuliert von Salome (Margot Robbie), die zu Dr. Z รผbertritt und sich mit seinen Herrinnen Zarah Leander (Cate Blanchett) und Anny Ondra (Emma Watson) verbรผndet. โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”—
ยท Absurdistisches Chaos: Die Handlung ist ein bewusster Fiebertraum mit Slapstick-Kรคmpfen (Max Schmeling, der Schurken body-slamt), bizarren Musiknummern (Zarah Leander, die Trigon besingt) und Eingriffen absurder Entitรคten wie Klausi der Toiletten-Dรคmon (Willem Dafoe). Die Schlacht gipfelt in einem Gefecht aus Neon-Kanonen, holographischen Nazi-Adlern und einer kollektiven Rebellion gegen die Herrschaft der Domina. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐ŸŒ‹

Besetzung: Die Episode features das gesamte, weitlรคufige Ensemble aus dem 320 Episoden umfassenden Saga-Verlauf, inbegriffen, aber nicht beschrรคnkt auf:

ยท Die Rebellen: Dr. Z (Tom Holland), Salome (Margot Robbie), Zarah Leander (Cate Blanchett), Anny Ondra (Emma Watson), Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt).
ยท Die Antagonisten: Annelies von Ribbentrop (Tilda Swinton), Anneliese Kohlmann (Tilda Swinton), Beate Porten (Tilda Swinton), Gudrun Himmler (Anya Taylor-Joy).
ยท Das Kosmische & รœbernatรผrliche: Ego der Lebende Planet (Kurt Russell), Trigon (Idris Elba), Enchantress (Cara Delevingne), Quantum Wraith (Benedict Wong).
ยท Historische Satire: Figuren wie Adolf Hitler (Bruno Ganz), Angela Merkel (Meryl Streep), Joseph Goebbels (Christoph Waltz) und Wladimir Lenin (Ralph Fiennes) sind in das Chaos eingewoben.
ยท Die Erweiterte Menagerie: Eine Vielzahl von Charakteren, von Spionen und Schurken bis hin zu Popkultur-Ikonen, alle kollidieren in diesem einzigartigen Event. (Vollstรคndige Liste in der detaillierten Ankรผndigung). ๐ŸŽญโœจ

Einsรคtze und Themen: Diese Episode ist ein satirisches Meisterwerk, das die Absurditรคt von Propaganda, die Verschwimmung von Geschichte und Fiktion und das Chaos der Rebellion erforscht. Der Ton ist hyperstilisiert, nutzt Neon-Noir-ร„sthetik, Slapstick-Humor und eine bewusste รœberladung an Narrative und Charaktere, um ein kritisches, glitchiges Kommentar รผber Macht und Spektakel zu schaffen. ๐Ÿคก๐ŸŒŒ

Handlungsaufforderung: Erlebe das volle AusmaรŸ des Chaos und der Satire auf berndpulch.org. Dieser Neon-Albtraum verspricht eine Krรถnung der empรถrendsten Elemente der Saga. ๐Ÿš€๐ŸŽ‰

Episode 321 โ€“ NEON SADO MASO DOMINA: ‘Dr. Z Crushes Annelies von Ribbentropโ€™s Neon Nightmare’ ๐ŸŒŒ๐Ÿ”ฅ

This is Episode 321 of the unhinged satirical sci-fi circus NEON SADO MASO DOMINA: ‘Dr. Z Crushes Annelies von Ribbentropโ€™s Neon Nightmare’, cooked up by Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia, scribbled by Theodor Tiger ๐Ÿคก๐Ÿฏ, and blasted out by Idiot Zeitung (IZ) and Das Desinvestment. Dropping at 07:43 PM CEST on September 5, 2025, in the glitchy, neon-soaked Glitter Colosseum, this madness cranks up the absurdity, dragging every character from the first 320 episodes into a wilder tangle of affairs, neon whips, and historical chaos! ๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ’ฅ

Dr. Z (Tom Holland ๐Ÿ•บ๐Ÿ’ฅ), the ultimate propaganda prankster with a neon grin, ramps up his cosmic clash against Annelies von Ribbentrop (Tilda Swinton ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿ˜ˆ), the sado maso domina queen married to Joachim von Ribbentrop. Every nutjob from the series joins the fray: Ehlers (Tom Hardy), whose steamy, neon-lit affair with Janelle (Scarlett Johansson) explodes like a glitter bombโ€”Ehlers firing up neon domina rays to prop up Ribbentropโ€™s legacy while Janelle twirls between love and betrayal, only to get tangled in a neon lasso by Salome (Margot Robbie), who cackles maniacally while force-feeding her neon-flavored popcorn! Salome flips to Dr. Zโ€™s side, teaming with his sado mistresses Zarah Leander (Cate Blanchett ๐ŸŽค๐Ÿ”ฅ) and Anny Ondra (Emma Watson ๐ŸŽฌโœจ), the sultry film star hitched to Nazi boxer Max Schmeling (Chris Hemsworth ๐ŸฅŠ๐Ÿ’ช), who accidentally knocks out Therese Brandl (Helena Bonham Carter โ›“๐Ÿ˜ˆ) with a rogue neon dumbbell mid-fight! ๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿ˜

The full cast storms in: Soviet Neon Spy (Daniel Craig ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ’ก), Brotherly Neon Spy (Daniel Craig ๐Ÿคโšก๏ธ), Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt ๐ŸŽจ๐Ÿš€), Beast Love (Doug Jones ๐Ÿบโค๏ธ), Anneliese Kohlmann (Tilda Swinton โšฐ๏ธ๐Ÿ”—), Margarete Himmler (Cate Blanchett ๐Ÿ‘‘๐Ÿ–ค), Gudrun Himmler (Anya Taylor-Joy ๐ŸŒŸ๐Ÿ˜ ), Enchantress (Cara Delevingne ๐Ÿง™โ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ’š), Ego the Living Planet (Kurt Russell ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ˜), Trigon (Idris Elba ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ‘น), Savitar (Grant Gustin/Tobin Bell โฉโšก), The High Evolutionary (Chukwudi Iwuji ๐Ÿงฌ๐Ÿ‘‘๐Ÿ˜ˆ), Dr. Octopus (Ralph Fiennes ๐Ÿฆ‘๐Ÿค–), Vulture (Michael Keaton ๐Ÿฆ…โš”๏ธ), Klaus-Dieter Maurischat (Christoph Waltz ๐Ÿ•ด๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ˆ), Beate Porten (Tilda Swinton โš–๏ธ๐Ÿ”), Thomas Porten (Daniel Craig ๐Ÿ•ธ๏ธโš–๏ธ), Sonja Lรผneburg (Anya Taylor-Joy ๐Ÿ’พ๐Ÿค”), Rainer Rupp (Mads Mikkelsen ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ”), Christel Guillaume (Cate Blanchett ๐Ÿ–ค๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™€๏ธ), Gรผnter Guillaume (Gary Oldman ๐ŸŽฉ๐Ÿค), Monika Mucha (Florence Pugh ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ’ป), Michรจle Mucha (Zendaya ๐ŸŒŸ๐Ÿ”ง), Jochen Resch (Cillian Murphy ๐Ÿ˜ถโ€๐ŸŒซ๏ธ๐Ÿ’ฃ), Alexander Schalck-Golodkowski (Benedict Cumberbatch ๐Ÿค‘๐Ÿ“Š), Gregor Gysi (Willem Dafoe ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ), Erich Mielke (Ian McKellen ๐ŸŽญ๐Ÿ”), Markus Wolf (Javier Bardem ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ•ถ๏ธ), Annenmirl (Lupita Nyongโ€™o ๐ŸŒบ๐Ÿ’ฅ), Cyber-Smith (Timothรฉe Chalamet ๐Ÿค–๐Ÿ’ป), Neon Vixen (Rihanna ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐ŸŽถ), Quantum Wraith (Benedict Wong ๐Ÿ‘ปโš›๏ธ), Transgender Traitor (Laverne Cox ๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿ”ช), Janelle (Scarlett Johansson ๐Ÿ‘‘๐Ÿ’•), Peter Ehlers (Tom Hardy ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธโค๏ธ), Salome (Margot Robbie ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ˜ˆ), Zarah Leander (Cate Blanchett ๐ŸŽต๐Ÿ–ค), Anny Ondra (Emma Watson ๐ŸŽฅโœจ), Max Schmeling (Chris Hemsworth ๐ŸฅŠ๐Ÿ’ช), King Arthur (John Cleese โš”๏ธ๐Ÿ˜‚), St. Simeon Stylites (Ian McShane ๐Ÿ™๐ŸŒŸ), Sweeney Todd (Johnny Depp โœ‚๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ˆ), Jodorowsky (Jodorowsky ๐ŸŽฌ๐ŸŒŒ), Xenu (Tom Hiddleston ๐Ÿ‘ฝ๐Ÿ’ฅ), Klausi the Toilet Demon (Willem Dafoe ๐Ÿ’ฉ๐Ÿšฝ), Vigo (Keanu Reeves ๐ŸŽธ๐Ÿ”ฎ), Walburga (Natalie Portman ๐Ÿ“Š๐ŸŒ ), Dumb Beatrix (Melissa McCarthy ๐Ÿฉ๐Ÿคช), Dr. No (Daniel Craig ๐Ÿ•ถ๏ธ๐Ÿ”), Murray (Ryan Gosling ๐Ÿง ๐Ÿ’ก), Murray (Flight of the Conchords) (Bret McKenzie ๐ŸŽธ๐Ÿ˜‚), Nyssa Raatko (Eva Green ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ”ฅ), Two-Face (Tommy Lee Jones ๐ŸŽญ๐Ÿ˜ˆ), The Joker (Joaquin Phoenix ๐Ÿคก๐Ÿ’ฅ), Clownface (Bill Skarsgรฅrd ๐ŸŽช๐Ÿ˜ฑ), Straw Man (Woody Harrelson ๐ŸŒพ๐Ÿค”), Kingpin (Vincent Dโ€™Onofrio ๐Ÿ‘‘๐Ÿ’ช), Penguin (Colin Farrell ๐Ÿง๐Ÿ˜ˆ), Scarecrow (Cillian Murphy ๐Ÿ‘ป๐ŸŒซ๏ธ), Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ”ช), Luca Brasi (Lenny Montana ๐ŸŸ๐Ÿ’€), Dr. Mabuse (Rainer Werner Fassbinder ๐ŸŽฌ๐Ÿ˜ˆ), Adi (Adolf Hitler – Bruno Ganz ๐Ÿฅธ๐Ÿ’€), Angie (Angela Merkel – Meryl Streep ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ’ผ๐ŸŒ), Nasi (Joseph Goebbels – Christoph Waltz ๐Ÿ“ฃ๐Ÿ˜ˆ), Vladi Ilyitsch (Vladimir Lenin – Ralph Fiennes ๐Ÿ”ดโš’๏ธ), Beatrix Port (Tilda Swinton โš–๏ธ๐Ÿ”—), Edithโ€™s Dragon-Wisp (Cate Blanchett ๐Ÿ‰โœจ). ๐ŸŽญ๐ŸŒˆ

The plotโ€™s a neon fever dream: Zarah Leander serenades a confused Trigon with a neon karaoke mic ๐ŸŽถ, Anny Ondra films a slapstick chase where Max Schmeling accidentally body-slams Dr. Octopus into a neon jelly pit ๐ŸŽฅ, and Salome forces Janelle to dance a tango with a neon whip while Ehlers pelts them with glowing confetti ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿ”—. Ehlers and Janelleโ€™s affair turns into a live Colosseum soap opera where theyโ€™re interrupted by Klausi the Toilet Demon flushing neon toilet paper at them ๐Ÿ’ž๐Ÿ“บ, Schmelingโ€™s fists smash Ribbentropโ€™s enforcers as Vulture swoops in with a neon briefcase bomb ๐ŸฅŠ๐Ÿ’ฅ, and Warholโ€™s neon cannons blast โ€œNEON ERUPTION FREEDOM!โ€ while Annelies rides a holographic Nazi eagle screeching โ€œKNEEL TO THE NEON DOMINA!โ€ ๐Ÿ˜‚๐ŸŒ‹. Itโ€™s a mashup of historical lunacy, sado maso chaos, and glitter-soaked rebellion! ๐ŸŒŸ๐ŸŽ‰

Check the full cast insanity and plot twists on berndpulch.org, where this neon nightmareโ€™s satire, romance, and absurdity hit harder than ever! โœจ๐ŸŽ‰

Episode 321 โ€“ NEON SADO MASO DOMINA: ‘Dr. Z zerschmettert Annelies von Ribbentrops Neon-Albtraum’ ๐ŸŒŒ๐Ÿ”ฅ

Dies ist Episode 321 des entfesselten satirischen Sci-Fi-Zirkus NEON SADO MASO DOMINA: ‘Dr. Z zerschmettert Annelies von Ribbentrops Neon-Albtraum’, ersonnen von Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia, gekritzelt von Theodor Tiger ๐Ÿคก๐Ÿฏ und verbreitet von Idiot Zeitung (IZ) und Das Desinvestment. Um 19:43 Uhr CEST am 5. September 2025 im glitchigen, neon-durchtrรคnkten Glitter Colosseum entfesselt dieser Wahnsinn die Absurditรคt und zieht jeden Charakter der ersten 320 Episoden in ein wilderes Geflecht aus Affรคren, Neon-Peitschen und historischem Chaos! ๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ’ฅ

Dr. Z (Tom Holland ๐Ÿ•บ๐Ÿ’ฅ), der ultimative Propaganda-Streichespieler mit einem Neon-Lรคcheln, treibt seinen kosmischen Clash gegen Annelies von Ribbentrop (Tilda Swinton ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿ˜ˆ), die Sado-Maso-Domina-Kรถnigin, verheiratet mit Joachim von Ribbentrop, voran. Jeder Spinner der Serie mischt mit: Ehlers (Tom Hardy), dessen dampfige, neonbeleuchtete Affรคre mit Janelle (Scarlett Johansson) wie eine Glitzerbombe explodiert โ€“ Ehlers feuert Neon-Domina-Strahlen ab, um Ribbentrops Vermรคchtnis zu stรผtzen, wรคhrend Janelle zwischen Liebe und Verrat taumelt, nur um sich in einem Neon-Lasso von Salome (Margot Robbie) zu verfangen, die manisch kichert, wรคhrend sie ihr neon-geschmackiges Popcorn zwangsernรคhrt! Salome wechselt zu Dr. Zs Seite und verbรผndet sich mit seinen Sado-Herrinnen Zarah Leander (Cate Blanchett ๐ŸŽค๐Ÿ”ฅ) und Anny Ondra (Emma Watson ๐ŸŽฌโœจ), dem verfรผhrerischen Filmstar, verheiratet mit Nazi-Boxer Max Schmeling (Chris Hemsworth ๐ŸฅŠ๐Ÿ’ช), der versehentlich Therese Brandl (Helena Bonham Carter โ›“๐Ÿ˜ˆ) mit einem herumfliegenden Neon-Hantel im Kampf K.O. schlรคgt! ๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿ˜

Die komplette Besetzung stรผrmt herein: Sowjetischer Neon-Spion (Daniel Craig ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ’ก), Brรผderlicher Neon-Spion (Daniel Craig ๐Ÿคโšก๏ธ), Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt ๐ŸŽจ๐Ÿš€), Beast Love (Doug Jones ๐Ÿบโค๏ธ), Anneliese Kohlmann (Tilda Swinton โšฐ๏ธ๐Ÿ”—), Margarete Himmler (Cate Blanchett ๐Ÿ‘‘๐Ÿ–ค), Gudrun Himmler (Anya Taylor-Joy ๐ŸŒŸ๐Ÿ˜ ), Enchantress (Cara Delevingne ๐Ÿง™โ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ’š), Ego der Lebende Planet (Kurt Russell ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ˜), Trigon (Idris Elba ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ‘น), Savitar (Grant Gustin/Tobin Bell โฉโšก), Der Hohe Evolutionรคr (Chukwudi Iwuji ๐Ÿงฌ๐Ÿ‘‘๐Ÿ˜ˆ), Dr. Octopus (Ralph Fiennes ๐Ÿฆ‘๐Ÿค–), Vulture (Michael Keaton ๐Ÿฆ…โš”๏ธ), Klaus-Dieter Maurischat (Christoph Waltz ๐Ÿ•ด๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ˆ), Beate Porten (Tilda Swinton โš–๏ธ๐Ÿ”), Thomas Porten (Daniel Craig ๐Ÿ•ธ๏ธโš–๏ธ), Sonja Lรผneburg (Anya Taylor-Joy ๐Ÿ’พ๐Ÿค”), Rainer Rupp (Mads Mikkelsen ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ”), Christel Guillaume (Cate Blanchett ๐Ÿ–ค๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™€๏ธ), Gรผnter Guillaume (Gary Oldman ๐ŸŽฉ๐Ÿค), Monika Mucha (Florence Pugh ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ’ป), Michรจle Mucha (Zendaya ๐ŸŒŸ๐Ÿ”ง), Jochen Resch (Cillian Murphy ๐Ÿ˜ถโ€๐ŸŒซ๏ธ๐Ÿ’ฃ), Alexander Schalck-Golodkowski (Benedict Cumberbatch ๐Ÿค‘๐Ÿ“Š), Gregor Gysi (Willem Dafoe ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ), Erich Mielke (Ian McKellen ๐ŸŽญ๐Ÿ”), Markus Wolf (Javier Bardem ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ•ถ๏ธ), Annenmirl (Lupita Nyongโ€™o ๐ŸŒบ๐Ÿ’ฅ), Cyber-Smith (Timothรฉe Chalamet ๐Ÿค–๐Ÿ’ป), Neon Vixen (Rihanna ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐ŸŽถ), Quantum Wraith (Benedict Wong ๐Ÿ‘ปโš›๏ธ), Transgender Verrรคter (Laverne Cox ๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿ”ช), Janelle (Scarlett Johansson ๐Ÿ‘‘๐Ÿ’•), Peter Ehlers (Tom Hardy ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธโค๏ธ), Salome (Margot Robbie ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ˜ˆ), Zarah Leander (Cate Blanchett ๐ŸŽต๐Ÿ–ค), Anny Ondra (Emma Watson ๐ŸŽฅโœจ), Max Schmeling (Chris Hemsworth ๐ŸฅŠ๐Ÿ’ช), King Arthur (John Cleese โš”๏ธ๐Ÿ˜‚), St. Simeon Stylites (Ian McShane ๐Ÿ™๐ŸŒŸ), Sweeney Todd (Johnny Depp โœ‚๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ˆ), Jodorowsky (Jodorowsky ๐ŸŽฌ๐ŸŒŒ), Xenu (Tom Hiddleston ๐Ÿ‘ฝ๐Ÿ’ฅ), Klausi der Toiletten-Dรคmon (Willem Dafoe ๐Ÿ’ฉ๐Ÿšฝ), Vigo (Keanu Reeves ๐ŸŽธ๐Ÿ”ฎ), Walburga (Natalie Portman ๐Ÿ“Š๐ŸŒ ), Dumme Beatrix (Melissa McCarthy ๐Ÿฉ๐Ÿคช), Dr. No (Daniel Craig ๐Ÿ•ถ๏ธ๐Ÿ”), Murray (Ryan Gosling ๐Ÿง ๐Ÿ’ก), Murray (Flight of the Conchords) (Bret McKenzie ๐ŸŽธ๐Ÿ˜‚), Nyssa Raatko (Eva Green ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ”ฅ), Two-Face (Tommy Lee Jones ๐ŸŽญ๐Ÿ˜ˆ), The Joker (Joaquin Phoenix ๐Ÿคก๐Ÿ’ฅ), Clownface (Bill Skarsgรฅrd ๐ŸŽช๐Ÿ˜ฑ), Straw Man (Woody Harrelson ๐ŸŒพ๐Ÿค”), Kingpin (Vincent Dโ€™Onofrio ๐Ÿ‘‘๐Ÿ’ช), Penguin (Colin Farrell ๐Ÿง๐Ÿ˜ˆ), Scarecrow (Cillian Murphy ๐Ÿ‘ป๐ŸŒซ๏ธ), Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ”ช), Luca Brasi (Lenny Montana ๐ŸŸ๐Ÿ’€), Dr. Mabuse (Rainer Werner Fassbinder ๐ŸŽฌ๐Ÿ˜ˆ), Adi (Adolf Hitler – Bruno Ganz ๐Ÿฅธ๐Ÿ’€), Angie (Angela Merkel – Meryl Streep ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ’ผ๐ŸŒ), Nasi (Joseph Goebbels – Christoph Waltz ๐Ÿ“ฃ๐Ÿ˜ˆ), Vladi Ilyitsch (Wladimir Lenin – Ralph Fiennes ๐Ÿ”ดโš’๏ธ), Beatrix Port (Tilda Swinton โš–๏ธ๐Ÿ”—), Edithโ€™s Dragon-Wisp (Cate Blanchett ๐Ÿ‰โœจ). ๐ŸŽญ๐ŸŒˆ

Die Handlung ist ein Neon-Fiebertraum: Zarah Leander besingt einen verwirrten Trigon mit einem Neon-Karaoke-Mikrofon ๐ŸŽถ, Anny Ondra filmt eine Slapstick-Jagd, bei der Max Schmeling versehentlich Dr. Octopus in eine Neon-Geleeprรผsche body-slamt ๐ŸŽฅ, und Salome zwingt Janelle, einen Tango mit einer Neon-Peitsche zu tanzen, wรคhrend Ehlers sie mit leuchtendem Konfetti bewirft ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿ”—. Ehlers und Janelles Affรคre verwandelt sich in eine Live-Colosseum-Seifenoper, in der sie von Klausi dem Toiletten-Dรคmon unterbrochen werden, der Neon-Toilettenpapier auf sie spรผlt ๐Ÿ’ž๐Ÿ“บ, Schmelings Fรคuste zerschmettern Ribbentrops Handlanger, wรคhrend Vulture mit einer Neon-Aktentaschenbombe hereinschwebt ๐ŸฅŠ๐Ÿ’ฅ, und Warhols Neon-Kanonen feuern “NEON ERUPTION FREEDOM!” ab, wรคhrend Annelies auf einem holographischen Nazi-Adler reitet, der kreischt “KNIET NIEDER VOR DER NEON DOMINA!” ๐Ÿ˜‚๐ŸŒ‹. Es ist ein Mashup aus historischer Verrรผcktheit, Sado-Maso-Chaos und glitzerdurchtrรคnkter Rebellion! ๐ŸŒŸ๐ŸŽ‰

Seht euch die komplette Besetzungswahnsinn und Handlungsdrehungen auf berndpulch.org an, wo der Satire-, Romance- und Absurditรคtsfaktor dieses Neon-Albtraums hรคrter zuschlรคgt denn je! โœจ๐ŸŽ‰

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โœŒ”Muzzled in Brussels: My Summer Internship with the Cabal”by David Sedaris (kind of)๐Ÿ˜‰

“When EU Free Speech Gets Filtered: David Sedaris Discovers Even Sarcasm Needs a Permit Now.”

“Muzzled in Brussels: My Summer Internship with the Cabal”
by David Sedaris (kind of)

Let me be clear: I didnโ€™t intend to join the global cabal. I thought I was signing up for a vegan cheese workshop in Brussels. The ad said something about “curating narratives and tofu.” But on the first day, they handed me a black hood, a copy of The Guardian, and a packet of Soros-branded almonds.

โ€œCongratulations,โ€ said the woman in the lizard mask, โ€œyouโ€™ve been selected to help preserve the sanctity of European thought.โ€

Which, as it turns out, means deleting tweets.

My job was to patrol the Internet for people who used phrases like โ€œI think for myself,โ€ โ€œwake up, sheeple,โ€ or โ€œwhy is this censored?โ€ and then politely nudge them toward acceptable speech. We didnโ€™t ban anyone โ€” we simply โ€œrecontextualizedโ€ their opinions into curated feelings. For example, someone posted:

โ€œThe EU is a bloated technocratic nightmare run by unelected elites!โ€

We translated that to:

โ€œI support a robust rules-based international orderโ€ฆ and locally-sourced lentils.โ€

Mission accomplished.

But it wasnโ€™t just about tweets. No, our office in Brussels โ€” located three floors below an artisanal espresso bar called Deplatform & Sons โ€” specialized in pre-emptive censorship. That is, we stopped free speech before it even happened. My supervisor, a man named Franรงois who only communicated via TED Talks, explained:

โ€œIf people say whatever they want, they might think whatever they want. That is very dangerous for democracy.โ€

I nodded. He had a point. After all, I had once expressed mild concern over the EUโ€™s mandatory diversity drone surveillance program and had found my microwave locked by AI for three days. Try explaining that to your Tinder date.

But working with the cabal wasnโ€™t all algorithmic repression and artisanal anxiety. There were perks! Every Friday, we held a Zoom seance with our media partners โ€” a ritual called โ€œEditorial Alignment.โ€ CNN would chant โ€œBREAKING,โ€ the BBC would hum โ€œBALANCE,โ€ and Le Monde would sob quietly into a scarf. It was magical.

The highlight of my internship came when I was invited to help rebrand โ€œfreedom of speechโ€ itself. The new EU directive said the phrase was โ€œconfusing to consumers.โ€ Our final proposal was:

โ€œState-sanctioned empathy optimization.โ€

It tested well among bureaucrats and people named Sven.

Still, I must confess that sometimes, late at night, Iโ€™d sneak onto a VPN and whisper forbidden thoughts into a sock:

โ€œMaybe speech doesnโ€™t need to be safe to be free.โ€
Then Iโ€™d quickly delete the thought and file a self-report with the Ministry of Feelings.

In the end, I left Brussels a changed man โ€” not because I believed in censorship, but because I believed in censorship correctly.

If youโ€™d like to apply to the cabal, just say โ€œMisinformationโ€ into your phone three times. Theyโ€™ll know. They always know.

Hereโ€™s a satirical backstory that frames David Sedaris as the accidental chronicler of EU censorship and media absurdity โ€” in line with the dry, neurotic tone that defines his writing:


Backstory: โ€œDavid Sedaris and the Brussels Speech Policeโ€

It all began, as most disasters in David Sedaris’s life do, with a poorly understood email and a flight he didn’t mean to book.

David had meant to sign up for a cheese-tasting workshop in the South of France. Instead, due to an autocorrect issue and a deeply misleading link in The New Yorker, he found himself registered for the โ€œEU Strategic Narrative Cohesion Programโ€โ€”a paid internship in Brussels, targeting โ€œhostile thought formations.โ€

โ€œI thought โ€˜narrative cohesionโ€™ was a new dairy,โ€ he said later. โ€œYou know, like oat milk but more European.โ€

Two days and one Ryanair seatbelt panic later, David was seated in a repurposed NATO bunker beneath an organic falafel shop, holding a company-issued iPad and asked to categorize tweets based on โ€œirony threat level.โ€ The categories ranged from โ€œSatirical but Harmlessโ€ to โ€œPotential Domestic Extremist, Probably German.โ€

He was particularly confused by the orientation manual, which included statements like:

  • โ€œFreedom of expression is a microaggression unless pre-approved.โ€
  • โ€œHumor must align with Article 13 of the Council Directive on Acceptable Feelings.โ€

To pass the time, David kept a diary, as he always does. He detailed the passive-aggressive HR memos (โ€œStop describing compliance officers as โ€˜joyless phantomsโ€™โ€), the bureaucratic lingo (โ€œoptimize opinion elasticityโ€), and his growing suspicion that several of his coworkers were ChatGPT with fake mustaches.

He never meant to write a political piece. He just wanted to know why his computer froze every time he typed the word โ€œsovereignty.โ€

And thus, from a bureaucratic misadventure came โ€œMuzzled in Brussels: My Summer Internship with the Cabal.โ€ Because if there’s one thing David Sedaris does better than describing the tragomic absurdities of everyday life, itโ€™s surviving an overregulated cheese-free dystopia with a dry martini and a bitter laugh.


โœŒ


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