Listen to James Uroy Bondi: 1st of May (2).mp3 by BERNDPULCH.ORG on #SoundCloud
https://on.soundcloud.com/yERdNQqsGnL8LBxG6
🎤.
“By James UROY Bondi, channeling the spirit of Dreadholder I-Royale.”
🔧
“Labour Day Lamentation: A Dreadholder’s Dubplate to di System” 🇯🇲🎤
(Cue reggae bassline 🎶, airhorn 📯, and the sound of a spluttering megaphone 📢)
**😎*“From Gold Chains to Broken Chains: A Dreadholder’s Satire fi di Overworked, Underpaid, & Air-Conditioning Deprived”* ✊😏**
Verse 1:
“Yes I, Dreadholder I-Royale, from di hills of Corporate Babylon 🏙️,
Come to chant down di wickedness pon dis so-called ‘Labour Day’ marathon! 🏃♂️💨
Dem throw a parade fi di workers—oya!—but check di fine print, yuh see? 👀📜
‘Mandatory fun! Free pizza slice! (Terms apply: wage freeze ’til 2033 ❄️📉).’
Dem CEO bosses in gold-plated Birkenstocks 👞💎, dabbin’ sweat with hundred-dollar rags 💸,
Sayin’, ‘Big up yuhself, essential heroes! (But clock in late? Yuh fired. No haggs. 🚫⏰)’
Dem spin di Maypole round di stock exchange 💹, ribbons say ‘Solidarity! ✊🏾’
Meanwhile, yuh overtime pay still vanish like free Wi-Fi 📶👻.”
Chorus:
“Labour Day, Labour Day—di ultimate HR mirage! 🤹♂️🌈
Burn di scented candle ‘gift’ 🕯️🔥, then breathe di toxic factory storage! 🏭🤢
‘Rest yuh feet!’ dem cheer… while trackin’ yuh steps on di company Fitbit 👟📱.
Is this liberation—or just di boss’s new-age profit spirit? 💼👻”
Verse 2:
“Dem fly di ‘Workers Unite!’ banner high… ‘pon Amazon drones in di sky 📦✈️,
While di union rep get ‘neutralized’ by a team-building trust fall exercise 🤝🤡.
Yuh get a ‘Wellness Day’—unpaid, of course—to meditate ‘pon yuh worth 🧘♂️💭,
As di rent devour yuh paycheck like di kraken ‘pon a merch ship’s girth! 🐙⚓”
Dem hashtag #HonorTheGrind 📈💪, postin’ memes ‘bout ‘hustle culture pride,’
But when yuh ask fi di livin’ wage, dem call yuh ‘lazy’… then gaslight 💡🗯️.
‘Member May 1st was ‘bout riots ✊🏾🔥, not LinkedIn posts ‘bout ‘synergy,’
Now yuh ‘labour’ means di CEO’s third yacht get Wi-Fi at sea! 🛥️📶”
Bridge (mock TED Talk tone 🎤💡):
“Innovation! Disruption! Let’s reimagine worker joy! 🤖🎉
Here’s a pizza party… 🍕🎉 and a foosball table… and a ‘Quiet Quitting’ decoy! 🤫🎭
Yuh want healthcare? Dental? PTO? Hmm… best we can do is confetti 🎊💸.
Now dance, comrade! Di kombucha’s organic—capitalism’s zesty confetti! 🥤✨”
Outro (whispered over fading nyabinghi drumbeat 🔥🥁):
“So light di chalice, Dreadholder crew—not fi celebrate, but fi plot 🤫🔗.
True Labour Day cyan come from hashtags or di crumbs dat dem allot 🚫🍞.
Di revolution won’t be outsourced, won’t be branded, won’t be trendin’ 📉🚩,
Till we seize di means of production… and di office AC settings 🌡️🎚️.*
(Mic drop 🎤⬇️. Distant sound of a vuvuzela 📯 tootin’ the Internationale 🎶.)
** “Babylon Can’t Extinguish di Fire — But *Yuh* Can Fan di Flames! **
Dem system want yuh silent, overworked, and scrolling mindlessly…
**BUT**
If di Dreadholder’s dubplate burn a hole in yuh corporate shackles, *mek we rise*!
**Join di AC Rebellion ️✊:**
– **Patreon**: [patreon.com/berndpulch](https://www.patreon.com/berndpulch)
*Fuel di fire* Wid monthly support, yuh fund satirical shells fi bombard di ivory towers of greed!
– **Direct Donations**: [berndpulch.org/donation](https://berndpulch.org/donation)
*Drop a grenade* One-time contributions buy megaphones fi amplify di people’s chants against wage theft!
**Why Mek Noise?**
Every dollar dem cyan’t tax is a brick ripped from Babylon’s walls.
Every patron is a soldier in di guerilla war against *performative solidarity* and *eternal productivity cults*.
**Dreadholder I-Royale seh:**
*“Revolution no cheap—but di price of silence? More damn costly.”*
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GOD BLESS YOU
these emojis?
- 🇯🇲🎤: Sets Jamaican + musical tone without caricature.
- 🏙️📉👻: Critiques urban capitalism, wage theft, and corporate “ghosting.”
- 📦✈️🐙: Nods to Amazon, exploitation, and mythological greed.
- 🌡️🎚️: Modern worker demands (AC = relatable revolution).
Bernd Pulch 